“Why am I overthinking this, I’ve got to stop overthinking!”
Those where the the words swirling around in my head when Hadassah first asked me to contribute to Joyfully You. I was excited and anxious, and I just couldn’t decide what I wanted to say! I had a million different ideas, I mean, there’s so many different subjects I could write about! A book review? A story? Maybe an essay on North Korea? ~Oh, wait, that one’s for school, Oops! I started to wonder, what do you want to read about? What would I, as a homeschooled christian young woman want to share with other girls like me? What is something that I need to be reminded of? I had a chance to speak, but what would I say?
So, prayed about it. And I decided I want to tell you about something that millions of people including myself struggle with, and how we can overcome through Christ.
I am not a very good writer. Yes, I love to do it, but oftentimes as hard as I try my words don’t flow, they go everywhere as if they’re blown by the wind. It’s like my fingers can’t keep up with my brain, my thoughts and ideas go so quickly I just can’t keep up. I am not very good at sports, either. I do try, but usually my basketball bounces off the rim, my volleyball goes in the opposite direction then where I am trying to hit it, and let’s just say I’m a little scared of my brother’s hard and fast football throws. Singing, yet another thing I don’t have a ton of natural talent for. I’m not very academically inclined, I can’t sew very well, and I just can’t seem to keep up with schedules. I started to feel like there were so many things that I just couldn’t do. I thought that my “special talent” had never really shown itself. I beat myself up and felt so disappointed because I wasn’t great at anything. I wanted to be able to put myself up, to say “look at me, I’m something special”. I wanted to compare myself to others and be better. Stronger. Funnier. Smarter.
And then my thinking changed. I realized what I was doing, who I had become. I saw for the first time that I was so focused on myself that I couldn’t see anything else. Anyone else. I was so focused on what I couldn’t do and who I wasn’t, instead of all the things I can do and the person I am in Christ. I stopped caring so much about what other people thought of me, and started thinking about those around me.
I saw for the first time the things that I am good at, and how I can use them to bless others. I realized that I am a friendly person, I realized that even though it’s rough sometimes I love to write stories and poems, and some of them are pretty good. I noticed that because I’m short (something that I dislike) I actually can wear some things modestly that some taller girls can’t. And I realized that I love people. I love to talk to them, hear their stories and learn from them, just be with them. And I now know, that I can share my stories, I can be a friend to the new girl, I can dress femininely and fashionably, so that through my gifts and ideas, others can see Christ.
Because really, that’s the only thing that matters. People coming to Christ and knowing Him personally. It’s not about me. But God has given me talents that, if I choose to, I can use for his glory.
So, wherever you are today, whatever gifts and abilities you have been given, USE THEM!! Stop comparing yourself to others, just be you! Do the things that you love in ways that others will say “Wow, she really uses that for God’s glory!”
What are your gift/ talents? Do you ever struggle with selfish thoughts and comparison? Speak to me! We can learn so much from each other.
Hadassah, thank you so much, this was awesome!